Chris Walker Vs. Every Time I Bash Applebee’s

Every time I bash Applebee’s I get a phone call or e-mail from my boss, The Boss, in which he calls me a pompous prick and vigilantly defends his right to be “Eatin’ Good in the Neighborhood”. The exchanges typically end in talk of cocktails and “When are we going to Maine to eat at Primo?” Nothing ever worth writing home about but I think today’s session is worth sharing since it might clear up any misconceptions about yesterday’s post, really drive home some food related things I believe in.

This is what The Boss wrote me this morning in response to yesterday’s post:

“Chris,

“If you want to consider yourself a foodie then [sic] buy all means do so. I am going to take you to task on some things I think you sometimes forget.

“Let’s take your [sic] distain for Applebee’s (a place where you might have eaten at twice in your life). This is a type of restaurant that is made for the traveling men who need a place to go in have a quick salad glass of tea for lunch and get back on the road to make sales. It is also for him to take his significant other out for a couple of cocktails/beer; a few wings and maybe a sandwich. These types of restaurants were never built to have Gourmet magazine come rank them.

“There are many people unlike us that never get to eat [sic] ate the French Laundry or at Pho or at some little restaurant in downtown Magenta. Some people in this world can only share the mediocrity you speak of because of their own wants of some easier [sic] life style. I know of a few towns that have a McDonald’s, Wendy’s and an Applebee’s. When you have that as a choice then the third one becomes the choice of the gourmet in that town. See, I think beer is disgusting because I can have cocktails, some can think McDonald’s is disgusting because they can eat at Applebee’s and so on up the chain, My wish is I would never have to eat at an Applebee’s or that type for the rest of my life, but tell me did you see any Redd’s, French Laundry’s, or La Famiglia’s after we left Denver? It makes eating a little more of a study when you [sic] out and about in the USA.”

My response:

Okay, I think I need to clear up the whole pho thing. While pho may sound like some hip, trendy, new dining hot spot, I assure you it is not. Pho is a Vietnamese dish of boiled beef, noodles, and broth; throw some basil leaves and lime in there if you want to “class it up”. Pho is incredibly cheap. When I go to Pho 777, the closest noodle shop to the office, I order a small bowl of noodles (which is more than enough for one person, trust me) and I walk out of there about $5.50 lighter and perfectly content. It takes about 20 minutes to eat there, if you’re in a hurry. Same thing can be said about this little taco shack down the road called Betos. Somewhere around $5 gets you four perfect, little asada tacos: fresh tortillas, marinated beef, cilantro, and onion. About as simple, fast, and affordable as it gets. No heat lamps, no processed meat, no microwaves, no artificial flavors. I’m full, I’m happy, I’m not spending a fortune, nor am I required to wear a coat and tie. Hell, even Sam Wo in San Francisco’s Chinatown, take four people in there and you’ll spend about $20 on delicious and rustic Chinese food. And just in case this is all a little too ethnic (you know me, I love my Asian/Mexican food), I’ll even throw my seal of approval behind Archie’s: they’re locally owned, use fresh ingredients, and actually cook the burgers when you order them. All great places to eat, none of which will set you back very much, none of which are part of a chain. And believe me when I say Gourmet isn’t rating them either.

You wrote, “I know of a few towns that have a McDonalds, Wendy’s, and an Applebee’s. When you have that as a choice then the third one becomes the choice of the gourmet in that town.” I refuse to accept that. My examples may be Reno based (aside from Sam Wo) but those places exist everywhere. You just have to look around a little. I guarantee somewhere in that “four choice town” is a small Italian restaurant, or a Greek restaurant, or a steak-and-eggs joint that is far better and just as affordable – they just don’t have golden arches to advertise and you might have to ask a local about it.

Eating at a chain restaurant like Applebee’s is not all that affordable, anyway. Let’s add it up: you and your significant other go out, you both order water (free) but you also order an appetizer. That’s $8. Then, let’s say you both order standard entrees. Probably $10 a piece (or $9.99). Then, perhaps, your lady decides she wants that (frozen moments ago) “molten lava cake” or key lime pie. $6, maybe? Add in a minimum tip of $4 and your total comes to $38. You can even take the dessert off, $32. Sounds reasonable, right? For almost the same amount of money you and your significant other can go sit at the bar at La Famiglia, split a large San Pellegrino ($5), order Sergio’s handmade that day duck raviolis (let’s say $10), a delicious beet salad (let’s go high and say $8), and finish it off with two espressos (like $4 or something?) totaling in, with a minimum $4 tip, at $30. Of course, you know me, I’d order a cocktail but if you really want to start cutting it down, figuring out how to get a good meal at a “fine dining establishment” without spending a fortune, this is how it’s possible. Even at a place like Eclipse Pizza where the ingredients are quality and the dough’s made from scratch. Take a date there, get two waters for like $4, two personal pizzas for $7 each (so you can have two different styles and share), throw a couple bucks into the tip jar, and you’re well feed for a couple cents more than two “Ulimate Trios” at Applebee’s.

As spoiled, privileged, and unsympathetic as you may think I sound, my argument comes from a very genuine and honest place, boiling down to a couple key points, one being: support local. I think about these Vietnamese restaurants all over Reno. They’re all independently owned/operated by tight-knit families who’ve probably been making the food they’re serving customers all their lives. Same can be said of the Mexican restaurants in town, or the Chinese ones, or the Italian ones. There is even a bar/lounge in town called Imperial where they made awesome mac-and-cheese, pizza, and other dishes. Once again, locally owned. I would rather give my money to them, putting it back into my community, than give it to a big business chain that serves me “food” full of unnecessary preservatives, saturated fats, fats I’ve never even heard of, corn syrup and calories ranging anywhere from two to four thousand in just one meal (i.e. Claim Jumper). I understand the “traveling salesman needing a quick place to go” argument but I bet you nine times out of ten there’s a great mom-and-pop joint he passes by as he’s driving on over to that glowing Applebee’s sign. He can do better.

Futhermore, eating well does not mean eating expensively. Taking interest in cuisine doesn’t just mean keeping up with Thomas Keller’s latest culinary innovation. Eating well means showing some respect for the humble, time-honored, cooking traditions of, let’s say, the Italians. Maybe trying out a recipe at home. Italian is a great example because some of the best dishes are made with very few ingredients. It doesn’t take much, it’s not expensive. And you won’t get me to say fast food restaurants are good for traveling salesmen or even beneficial to a single mother of three. You think [name redacted] stops by McDonalds for her droves of kids after working a full day? Hell no. She cooks authentic, wonderful, Mexican food like her mother probably did for her and her mother’s mother before that. There’s respect, tradition, and ultimately love for the craft. She’s instilled those cooking skills, that appreciation for food, in her children. I’ve seen it first hand. It’s sad to see that appreciation and love disappear – especially in white families. It’s like no one knows how to cook anymore or wake up a couple minutes early to fry an egg yet, we always have time to go through the drive thru. It’s pathetic.

As for considering myself a “foodie,” that’s kind of just like telling everyone I’m uncoordinated before I throw a ball. I don’t consider myself a “foodie” but with my stances on food I’m bound to be called one at some point. I’ll just beat everyone to the punch.

By the way, I love your comments but you need to leave them on the actual blog so everyone can read them. And, just so you know, I’ve chosen Applebee’s as my go-to bash-a-chain restaurant because I know it drives you wild and I love busting your balls.

Posted: September 28th, 2007 | Author: Chris Walker | Filed under: Food, Foodies | 8 Comments »