CHRIS WALKER VS. WOMEN’S SUFFRAGE

Ever heard the phrase, “if you have to explain the joke it isn’t funny anymore”? I think it’s time we added this alternate version: “Maybe, if you have to explain the joke the person you’re telling it to is an idiot”.

Depending on how long you’ve been reading my site you may or may not know about the controversial post, Chris Walker Vs. Women and Children. It was an intentionally retarded and blatantly misinformed rant against the “women and children first” thought process concluded by a ridiculous scenario involving Thor, women and children stranded on a fiery island, and great white sharks. To most, it was an obvious joke. Even if they didn’t find it funny they could at least identify it was not to be taken seriously. Just look at the second sentence (as if the first wasn’t a gigantic give away) where I wrote, “Titanic, Independence Day, and that other one”. Ever heard examples like the last one in a genuine debate? Didn’t think so.

Regardless, some people take themselves – and everything else – way too seriously. And by “some people” I mean the person from this post. Long story short: she and I were friends; I wrote the women and children piece; she called me the biggest male scum-bag on earth and questioned my fiancé’s intelligence; I posted the message where she called me the biggest male scum-bag on earth on Chris Walker Versus; she got even madder; we’re no longer friends.

After the coals cooled I tried to contact her however; she wouldn’t respond to e-mail, text message, or an actual phone call. Interesting how she couldn’t respond after the fact yet had time to bash me in an internet message beforehand. I think there’s a word for those kinds of people. Coward, isn’t it? So, I gave up. If she wants to end our friendship over a satirical piece written in admittedly bad-humor then she wasn’t much of a friend to begin with.

That should’ve been the end of it. And it was the end until her best (?) friend found me on MySpace and put in a friend request. I accepted and messaged her asking, well, just read the conversation for yourself. I removed times and subjects as they don’t serve any purpose – aside from that they are unaltered as to preserve honesty and accuracy. You’ll see how it progresses.

To: [name removed]
From: Chris Walker Versus
Body: Did your girl tell you she won’t talk to me anymore?

To: Chris Walker Versus
From: [name removed]
Body: uh, yeah… but she sort of left out the details

To: [name removed]
From: Chris Walker Versus
Body: I wrote a satirical, bad-comedy piece about women and children for my blogsite. She read it and responded by telling me I was basically the biggest asshole man in the world. I told her to get a sense of humor and posted her message, without her name on it, on my blogsite. Haven’t heard from her since.

To: Chris Walker Versus
From: [name removed]
Body: oh yeah, now I remember. Not that you asked my opinion but I think [name removed] likes to think of you as a guy who knows better, so when you do/write something like that it’s a HUGE let down because it’s just a reminder that most guys are sexist pigs. If you were writing for humor (well, she would say it’s not funny) and you apologized, that’s all you can do. I guess the real question is, did you mean what you wrote?

To: [name removed]
From: Chris Walker Versus
Body: Um, here’s a link to the post: CWV . You can judge for yourself whether or not I was trying to be serious or if the whole thing was a joke*.

*Hint: the whole thing was a joke. How could you possibly take that seriously?

To: Chris Walker Versus
From: [name removed]
Body: I don’t know Chris. It was very well written, I’ll give you that. To me, it just kind of goes along with the whole misogynistic, sexist attitude so many men have with women, whether you meant it as a joke or not. Reading it, I wouldn’t perceive it as a joke, and I guess [name removed] didn’t either. I can’t tell you exactly how she feels because I’m not her but coming from a woman who’s dealt with that macho crap her whole life, it’s not very funny and I’m sure [name removed] would hope that you’d put your wonderful writing skills to better use.

I don’t know if I helped or hindered but nevertheless, i’m sure she’ll get over it eventually.

—

Of course it was well written! I wrote it!

Is she serious? How hard is it comprehend the whole thing was a joke? I don’t care if you saw the humor in it or not, it’s still a joke. For God’s sake, I wrote, “If it weren’t for men fire never would’ve been invented, cross-stitching would be a sport,” etc. Newflash: men didn’t invent fire! And cross-stitching, a sport? C’mon, we all know if men didn’t exist there wouldn’t even BE sports. Except for fast-pitch softball because, let’s face it: lesbians need something to do when they’re not feasting on fish tacos or picketing for animal rights. Or whatever it is they do.

I digress.

In all seriousness, I re-read Chris Walker Vs. Women and Children just to see if, in any way shape or form, the post could’ve been perceived as anything other than a joke. It’s safe to say it can’t be – unless you’re an idiot or an oversensitive person. Just looking at the Rosie O’Donnell picture should be grounds enough to discount it as anything serious. It makes me think of the time Adam Corrola and Jimmy Kimmel were on the Man Show getting women to sign a “Stop Women’s Suffrage” petition and women were excited to participate. Get a clue. Develop a sense of humor.

Posted: October 24th, 2006 | Author: Chris Walker | Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »