CHRIS WALKER VS. ENCOUNTERING A COUGAR AT THE DALLAS AIRPORT

I think a Cougar just hit on me.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, a Cougar is a single, older lady – 50 years plus – who is out on the prowl, looking for young dudes. I was just at the service desk of the Admiral’s Club in Dallas Fort Worth airport trying to get a new flight (because my flight to Reno was canceled) when a Cougar – one of the ladies working the service desk – began stalking her prey, Yours Truly.

The Cougar’d been searching alternate flights for quite a while when she said, “Thanks for being patient and such a sweetheart.” “No problem,” I replied. At the time, I thought nothing of it. It’s Texas, they call everyone sweetheart. After about five more minutes of searching we had this exchange:

Me: You know, if you can just get me to San Francisco I can grab a rental car or I even have friends in Vegas if you can get me there for the night.
The Cougar: Well, I can get you to Los Angeles but I’d hate to get you stuck there.
Me: Actually, that wouldn’t be so bad; I have a friend out there, too.
The Cougar: Chris, you look like the type of guy who has friends everywhere.

Oh really? After that, she gave me a drink ticket for my trouble. Sensing the Cougar had my best interest in mind, I just sat back and let her work her magic. Ten minutes later, the Cougar had me standby on a flight to Sacramento – which I need to head to in a couple minutes – and confirmed on a later flight to Sacramento (in case I don’t get on the standby flight). I told her thank you so much and, while printing out my boarding passes, she slipped me two more drink tickets saying, “Here’s a couple more. That way you can go to the bar and have a drink now and then head over the A Gates and have two more before you have to get on the plane. Or, you could just stay and have all three drinks with us here.”

Cougars are awesome! Unfortunately, I couldn’t take her up on her offer. If I get on this standby flight it means I have to be bright-eyed and sober so I can drive back to Reno from Sacramento tonight. Otherwise, I’d be three gin and tonics deep. What can I say? I guess I’m learning responsibility. Or something.

And on that note, let’s go standby.

Posted: March 29th, 2007 | Author: Chris Walker | Filed under: Airport Travel, Cougars | No Comments »