CHRIS WALKER VS. BODY SPRAY

Body spray for men is stupid. Body spray commercials for men are even stupider. Sure, appreciate them for their humor and abundance of hot girls (and MILFs!) but if you actually believe hosing yourself down with an overpowering musk will put you in a situation where, let’s say, your girlfriend’s mom uncontrollably molests you – you’re an idiot. It will never happen, no matter how much man juice you pump onto your bird chest.

I never thought I’d write a post about men’s body spray. I really don’t care about it; I’ve never used it; it’s a product for…I don’t know, junior high kids. The only reason I’m writing about body spray and body spray commercials is so I can put up a picture of this woman, Rachel Specter:

Rachel Specter – the spokeswoman? model? commercial girl? for Right Guard’s new body spray – has to be one of the best-looking chicks I’ve ever seen. Yes, I obviously have “a type”. If you’ve paid attention to my taste in completely unattainable women (see: Emmy Rossum, Eva Green) there’s clearly a pattern but am I right, or what? Her commercials are seriously one of the only times I stop what I’m doing and pay full attention to the television.

I’ve only got two problems with the commercials: 01. they’re for a shitty body spray; 02. the tagline, “Are you ready to step up?” is ridiculous. Am I ready to step up? To what? Freshman year? I thought I stepped up when I started using cologne. Isn’t body spray just a high-school-mentality, Maxim-generation equivalent of that? I don’t know, I don’t want to sound like I’m taking the body spray/cologne argument too seriously – I’d hate to have another half-assed history professor school me on the finer points of good-smelling man applications – all I know is Holy Christ, Rachel Specter is hot.

Posted: April 26th, 2007 | Author: Chris Walker | Filed under: Rachel Specter | No Comments »