Chris Walker Vs. Bitches Who Refuse To Eat Ham

Last Saturday, Anthony Bourdain and Mario Batali were at the Paramount in Seattle answering questions, sharing wisdom, and throwing good-spirited jabs at one another. Or, in this case, knock out punches. Bourdain said to Batali of his PBS show, “Spain… On The Road Again”, in which Batali and (presumably insufferable) actress Gwyneth Paltrow indulge in Spain’s bountiful, culinary offerings, “Why would you go to Spain with the one bitch who refuses to eat ham?”

Spain is well known for its pig products. Evidently, Paltrow, ever pretentious and (again) insufferable, follows a strict macrobiotic diet and did not eat meat during the series. I wouldn’t know because I didn’t watch the show. Sounds terribly boring, though.

Later in the evening Bourdain quipped, “The people who watch the Food Network are the ones with a gallon of soda and a bag of Cheetos going, ‘Oh, I could make that.’”

And the world seems right again.

LINK:

Saturday: Anthony Bourdain & Mario Batali @ The Paramount, via Seattle Weekly.

By the way, I never really cared for Black Lips until I read this. Now I love them. While I’m at it, this is brilliant. Today is full of wonderful gems.

Chris Walker Vs. The Thomas Keller Experience

“Gimme a Vodka martini. Chopin. I like ‘em extra dry.”
“Would you like vermouth?”
“No way. Hate the stuff.”

That was me not too long ago, I thought, listening to the exchange between the bartender and the boisterous guy sitting at the other end of the bar at Redd, chef Richard Reddington’s signature restaurant in Napa Valley’s Yountville. Boisterous Guy looked a lot like Mario Batali, with a beard and ponytail. He wore khaki shorts, a loud purple polo, and had a voice to match. “How’s the Nee-wah?” Boisterous Guy asked, in reference to the Ketel One vodka, sake, lemon juice, and cucumber concoction on Redd’s cocktail menu. “Really good,” the bartender replied. “In fact, I just made one with Hendricks gin and it was pretty good.” Guess who ordered that.

It wasn’t until I heard the word “Bouchon,” the name of chef Thomas Keller’s French bistro in Yountville, a couple times that I started eavesdropping on Boisterous Guy’s conversation. He went on and on, Keller this, Keller that, finally saying, “You know, I heard on the opening night of Per Se, Keller was so frazzled he couldn’t even find his shoes!” I had to interject.

“You’ve read Michael Ruhlman, haven’t you?”
“Yeah,” Boisterous Guy answered, clearly caught off guard.
“I read that book, too.”

The Keller / clog incident is from Ruhlman’s The Reach of a Chef.

Pockets wondered aloud, “I wonder how often Thomas Keller is talked about in restaurants he doesn’t own.” Keller seems to be on the tip of everyone’s tongue, in Napa Valley especially, and for good reason. The chef has built an empire in Yountville. From his flagship restaurant, The French Laundry (often considered the best restaurant in the United States), to Bouchon, the Bouchon bakery, to the experimental Ad Hoc, to rumors of an upcoming burger-and-wine joint, Keller dominates the small Napa town with a cast-iron fist. His influence reaches far outside the Napa region (Keller also has a Bouchon in Las Vegas and the aforementioned Per Se in New York) and his buzz is more of a boom throughout the culinary world. I won’t lie and pretend I’m above it. I, too, have long been fascinated by Keller, eager to experience his restaurants. So, for my birthday weekend, I made a reservation at Bouchon and ventured out to Yountville.

I can sum Bouchon up in one word: crowded. The entrance is crowded. The bar is crowded. The dining room is crowded. Everything is crowded. And it’s loud. Luckily, the service is good and the bartenders are knowledgeable. Bouchon is the first place I’ve been to since starting this whole “Bartender Renaissance” where the bartenders know how to make an Americano Highball.

Chef Jeffrey Cerciello has done a great job with the food. Although the Pommes Frites didn’t live up to the hype and the Boudin Blanc (a white sausage and potato puree dish) seemed a little too plain (blame my ignorance of French bistro cuisine), everything else was excellent. The Rillettes aux Deux Saumons – fresh and smoked salmon sealed under a layer of clarified butter (which you remove) and spread over toasted bread was extraordinary. The oysters were wonderful; the desserts were mesmerizing (if you see the Pots de Crème Mint on the “specials” board you have to order it). I wish I could have tried some of the cheeses (served with honey comb) or the Terrine de Foie Gras de Canard however; my stomach didn’t have anymore room. In the end, my feelings about Bouchon were mixed. Part of me enjoyed it for what it is – a French bistro – part of me couldn’t get past the crowded, rushed, extremely loud atmosphere. For my first Thomas Keller restaurant experience it seemed a bit…lacking.

Walking around the streets of Yountville before dinner at Bouchon, Pockets noticed a small, unassuming restaurant called Ad Hoc. The name stuck with her. The next day she looked it up on the internet and found out it was a Keller restaurant. We made a reservation. After the Bouchon experience, I wasn’t expecting much out of Ad Hoc. I’d come to terms with the fact Thomas Keller is just a man, his trusted chefs just the same, and, perhaps, it was unreasonable to expect an “out of this world” dining experience unless it was at his French Laundry. All of that changed with one negative review.

Pockets and I stopped by the “visitor center” on our walk to Ad Hoc and spent some time talking to a woman named Donna. We told Donna we were going to Ad Hoc for lunch and she glared at us. “It’s no good?” I asked. Donna continued to glare. “You see that there,” Donna said pointing to the Bistro Jeanty menu. “that’s an excellent restaurant.” Well, what’s wrong with Ad Hoc? “It used to be a restaurant called ‘The Diner’,” Donna continued, “and everybody loved it. Then the owners sold it off and for a while it was a wine shop. Then he bought it and turned it into that. Everybody wishes he would call it ‘The Diner’ again but, of course, he won’t do it. I’ve eaten there twice. They charge $45 dollars for fried chicken. And you never know what you’re going to get. They change the menu everyday and it’s all picked for you.”
“Wait a minute,” I interjected. “so they create a new menu daily and you don’t have any choice in what they serve you?”
“Exactly. Four courses. They decide.”

I was sold.

Walking into Ad Hoc, it feels like an experiment. Maybe because it was an experiment. Originally, Ad Hoc was only meant to be a temporary restaurant, open for six months, a place for Keller and Cerciello to recreate their childhood favorites, experimenting with recipes for use at The French Laundry. I can only assume it became so popular they decided to keep Ad Hoc open indefinitely.

The décor is rustic yet still maintains a modern flair (word has it all Keller did was repaint and add the brushed-chrome tables). Menus are kept in thick folders, almost as if in a doctor’s office. According to our waiter, aside from one new employee the staff had been comprised of the same people since day one. Coincidentally, Sunday, September 16^, 2007, the day Pockets and I dined at Ad Hoc, just so happened to be the one year anniversary. It also happened to be my birthday. And Mexican Independence Day.

In honor of the one year anniversary, Ad Hoc was serving the same menu they had on opening day: an heirloom tomato salad (with tomatoes our server hand-picked from the French Laundry garden that morning) with fresh mozzarella; tri-tip served with mushrooms, corn on the cob, and roasted piquillo peppers; a cheese course of Humboldt Fog with succulent figs and fresh honey; shortcakes with strawberries and whipped vanilla bean cream. Pockets asked, “Is it wrong to think $45 is a bargain for this?” Of course, she already knew the answer: absolutely not. To accurately describe the meal, it was heavenly. I meant to ask our server, “What do you do with evil vegetarians?” but I was in too much ecstasy to be mean-spirited.

In true foodie fashion (god forgive me), I asked to see the kitchen, the first time I have ever asked to see a kitchen. Our server, who had been beyond cordial the entire time, happily led us into the back, pointing out the various stations and the ever-so-cool stock pots (which I believe were also used for Bouchon stocks). It was beautiful. Wide open, white, and immaculate. After introducing us to everyone our server pointed to a chef saying, “And here we have Thomas Keller.”
Everyone laughed.
I asked, “How many people actually come in here expecting to see Keller in the kitchen?”
“About a hundred and fifty a night.”

Ad Hoc restored my faith in chef Keller, both in his food and as the culinary-god figure he’s been portrayed as (chef Cerciello ought to get some credit too, as well as the entire staff). I’m glad Ad Hoc is permanent. It’s beyond anything I could have hoped for. I can’t wait to go back. Donna is missing out.

After our remarkable meal, Pockets and I stopped back by Redd for a “Farewell to Yountville” cocktail. That’s when I ran into the vodka swilling, Keller ranting, Boisterous Guy. After I’d caught him with the Ruhlman thing he told me, “Yeah, I just love all that back-and-forth between RULE-MEN and BORE-DAN on “No Reservations.” Like in Vegas? I loved that shit. You know BORE-DAN and his restaurant LOS HALL-ES? I heard it’s horrible! The food sucks, the service sucks; I’ve never heard a good review!”

I just nodded and laughed. Then Pockets and I toasted to one day dining at LOS HALL-ES, or even better Les Halles (pronounced Ley-All). For some reason, I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be wonderful.

—

Thomas Keller [The French Laundry] [Bouchon] [Bouchon Las Vegas] [Per Se] [Ad Hoc]

CHRIS WALKER VS. BRAVO’S TOP CHEF

I made the mistake of thinking Bravo’s Top Chef was just another Next Food Network Star: a ridiculous “cooking” show that should only be viewed by those who enjoy watching disappointment and train-wrecks (like me). I don’t even think cooking ability is required on Next Food Network Star, as long as you can operate a microwave and appeal to the American public you’re good.

Top Chef is a whole different bag. Number one: it involves actual chefs. Number two: the chefs can actually cook. Number three: the chefs make some seriously delicious looking (and sounding) food. Number four: it occasionally makes you wonder, “Why does Anthony Bourdain dislike Rocco DiSpirito so much? He doesn’t seem like such a bad guy*.” Finally, the show is just really, really fun to watch. I’ve been watching religiously since Pockets turned me onto it a month ago.

Season Three is well underway but it’s never too late to tune in. Catch a new episode of Top Chef tonight at 10 PM, Pacific Time, on Bravo.

* I never watched DiSpirito’s ill-fated show, The Restaurant. Maybe that’s why.

Bravo’s Top Chef [Official]

Anthony Bourdain [Top Chef Blog] [Official]

Rocco DiSpirito [Top Chef Blog] [Official]

Tom Colicchio [Top Chef Blog] [Official]